My Favorite Childhood Memory
First of all, when I was 7 I played a Basketball game with my family. It was my dad,my mom and I on a team, on the other hand, it was all 3 of my sisters on another. I was shorter than everyone else so I thought I was a midget. The height difference wasn't too much of a difference to my sister Courtney because she was pretty short at the time. My dad made me feel confident so I didn't worry too much about it. Then after talking for a little while we started the game.
Next, the game started and we made a few points. My dad passed the ball to me then I ran around them and jumped to try and make a point. With my dad on the right and my sisters on my left it gave me a clear shot to dunk it. My sisters came back and took the lead. My dad and I took the lead again and we got ahead for awhile. We were all having fun and laughing, I wished it could last forever. Both teams kept scoring over and over.
Then, the scores were getting really close and I was getting concerned that we would lose and that they would win. When someone ran past it smelled like sweat, my mouth was getting really dry, the ball was getting slippery on my hands and it was starting to get dark outside and it made it kind of hard to see the ball. My sisters were getting close to passing us on points. They got the ball when we missed a shot and they made a 3 pointer and got ahead. We ended up losing the game but we all had fun playing.
At last, my sisters won which was fine by me because I had a blast playing with my family. “Good game” my sisters said. “Good game” I said. Even though I was slightly bummed out my dad ended up cheering me up again. He really is good at cheering me up. As a result, that memory always cheers me up and makes me happier.
I liked that, I mostly liked it because it talked about spending quality family time.
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ReplyDeleteI liked your story. I thought it was cool that you were spending time with your family. how do you think it would sound if sometimes instead of saying sisters you put they. Do you think that would help the story flow better.
ReplyDeleteI liked your story. I thought it was cool that you were spending time with your family. how do you think it would sound if sometimes instead of saying sisters you put they. Do you think that would help the story flow better.
ReplyDeleteSounds really fun! Have you tried adding more detail to your paragraphs to make them a little longer? You're such a great writer by the way!
ReplyDeleteGreat start! I really like the sequence of your story--very clear beginning, middle and end and it's easy to follow. Well done! To take it up a notch, add more detail and figurative language. Remember you want your reader to literally "see" what you are writing about. Vivid details and description will do that:) Thanks Jamie!
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