Olivia Ence
Period Six
What I do for fun
Whenever I am feeling bored or have nothing to do, I immediately call some friends. My friends and I like to do a lot of exciting, adventurous, and scary activities. We like to ride fourwheelers in the south hills, go hiking at the dixie rock, swim under the hot sun, and a lot of other things. I would like to tell you about a particular memory of Veyo Pool with my friends.
First, we went down to the river behind the pool. We got down there and found a swing. The swing was old and wooden, hanging from a tree branch, and positioned so that you would swing over the river when you used it. We entertained ourselves with this for a while, pushing each other over the rapidly moving river. Afterwards, we went down to a small pond and swam around In the cold water. When we got bored of this, we decided to do something else.
When swimming got boring, we decided to catch crawdads. We stuck a big chunk of hotdog on the end of a long, pointed stick. Then, we placed the stick in the stream. We would sit on hard, mossy rocks for a while, then lift the stick out of the water with a jerk when a crawdad pinched the hotdog particularly hard. We would place the crawdad in a big, yellow bucket full of water so that it wouldn’t die. After a while, we had about sixty crawdads, so we emptied the bucket and started again. We only had about nine or ten slimy, grayish crawdads in our bucket when we decided to be done. We headed up to the pool.
When we go to the pool, we agreed to just swim for a while. After the river, the pool water felt warmer than usual as we hopped in. We played categories, subs, and other games as we swam. The pool, long and rectangular, was good for such games, especially categories. If you’ve never played, categories is a simple game. As is subs, but no matter how simple, when me and my friends are together, everything is loads of fun. After swimming, we drove home.
In conclusion, our day at Veyo Pool was fun, exciting, and, most of all, very wet! Veyo was a fun way to spend our day. It was also a great way to cool off. Swinging, catching crawdads, and swimming with my friends was absolutely awesome. It was one of the best days I’ve ever had, and hope to go to Veyo again soon. When we got home, we separated for dinner, soon to meet up again an hour later!
This was really good Olivia. I liked how you talked about all the things you did and how you were descriptive. What would your writing look like if you added some smiley face tricks like similes and metaphors?
ReplyDeleteI like the way you told us what you did and in what order you did it, giving the reader an idea of what you and your friends like to do for fun. What would your writing look like if you added a little more description to your activities?
ReplyDeleteI liked how you described all of the things you did. Maybe try adding more details to certain ones
ReplyDelete