My time at the beach
I remember the perfect time at the beach with the perfect golden sand squishing between my toes while the ocean wash up it’s perfect treasure of life, water. I remember running to the waves and riding my plastic, water repellent, wave rider. I loved the feel of the blue water and the warm sun combined to make it a perfect day.
First, we ate gourmet sandwiches with honey so golden it looked like gold and tasted as if it were made of pure goodness. To start, I grabbed a soda can, popped it open, and took a deep smell of sugar and caffeine. I remember taking gold fish and feeding the pelicans with their white and grey feathers. I watched as dolphins swam into view with grey skin and arched backs.
Second, we swam and played like sheep in a pasture, while gulls swooped overhead with their arms flapping as they glided through the air. Next, we boogy boarded and body boarded. We jumped waves while we also looked for fish. We swam in the blue and ran in the sand happy just to be there.
The beach was perfect with all the sun and water and the nearly empty beach that we called “Alcove of Awesomeness.” Finally, we took naps and read books while talking and laughing. The joy of being there brings happiness like a rainbow after a storm. Towards the end, we enjoyed football and soccer but paddle ball was always my favorites.
There was always one down fall of going to the “Alcove of Awesomeness.” You have to leave at some point or another. Finally after a few farewells and a couple of escape from the car attempts by my brother and I, our journey had come to a close. Similar to a book, it leaves you yearning for more, hoping beyond hope that sometime you will get to do it again.
I liked your word choice. I liked the name "Alcove of Awesomeness." I wonder what it would look like if you had more punctuation?
ReplyDeleteI thought the description and repetition was sophisticated and unique. Although I wonder what it would look like if you tried putting some transition words in other less obvious places.
ReplyDeleteI loved how you used sensory detail in your writing. It made me feel like I was there. What would it look like if you had different transition words.
ReplyDeleteI loved the way you described it. I wonder what it would look like if you added more punctuation?
ReplyDelete