Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Love Each Other
If everyone loved each other as much as they loved themselves, it would be an amazing world to live in. It's not a hard task if we only think before we act. We would never have to worry about war, terrorists, and most importantly, bullying. So many kids in our generation have taken there life because they were bullied. Most kids see bullying happen every day, but imagine a world where we would never ever have to worry about what people think and totally avoid bullying. It seems impossible, but as I said before, all you have to do if think before you act. Families would also be happy and siblings would never fight. Everyone could live in a neighborhood that they feel safe in, and everyone would care for everyone. A world where everyone loved each other like the loved themselves...would be amazing! <3
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A lot of times it is hard to find anything wrong with peoples stories and yours is the same, nice job. I think it would sound better (maybe) if you explained a little more than just bullying. Yet either way, nice job
ReplyDeleteGreat job! You're right about it being easy to think before you act. How would it look if you used their instead of there in sentence four, on the fourth line.
ReplyDeleteAmazing job Breanna, I agree with Taran, just explain it a little more... Good Job!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGood job! i like how descriptive you were! I wonder how it would look with a little change in grammer
ReplyDeleteThe emphasis on bullying is a great point--well done on your post Breanna! As you revise, yes correct the grammar issues and use some more specific examples. Great work, thanks!
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